For the Last 365 Days

So, I’m turning 28 at the end of this month and I used to celebrate my birthdays like crazy. It was a huge deal, and I mean HUGE. I would start making party plans and game layouts months in advance.

But a few years ago, it started morphing into something else. Something worthy of dread and anxiety. What happened?

Two years ago, it came to a head when I showed up at my best friend’s doorstep at 1 am, on my birthday saying “Pack a bag and get in the car.” We drove for hours into the Rocky Mountains until I was calm enough to talk.

The change in my attitude was uncanny, unnerving, and frankly, a little scary.

Since then I have done everything I can to avoid thinking about my birthday at all costs. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. Why was I freaking out so much? Why did the thought of turning another year older make my heart fill with panic, fear, and alarm?

Recently, I went on a walk with a mentor of mine and talked about all these feelings. By the end of the hour, we’d made a breakthrough. I had a deeply ingrained false belief: Feeling like I’d accomplished nothing in the past year.

It clicked. It suddenly all made sense. So, in order to combat this false belief, I have compiled an incomplete list of things, both big and small, I’ve accomplished during the past 365 days.

 While I was 27-years-old I . . .

Embraced my calling as a writer

Reached my 50,000 word goal by the set goal date

Made friends working at OpenTable

Quit my job at OpenTable

Lost 80 pounds of excess weight

Wrote four short stories for a local anthology and submitted them on time

Gained muscle mass

Built healthy boundaries in relationship to my parents

Journeyed to Iowa and released many heavy demons

Was a maid of honor at my friend’s wedding

Discovered how to cook multiple yummy meals

Switched some of my food over to organic

Became the organizer for a Belmar Writer’s Critique Group

Started using the library to save money on buying books

Met many amazing people at the Sirens Convention

Set firm spending boundaries and kept to them (with the occasional splurge)

Participated in an eye-opening conversation with my brother

Took care of my kitty while she was recovery from her hip surgery

I can now walk a 5K in under an hour

Took full advantage of all the tons of information at the Pikes Peak Writers Conference

Cooked a Mother’s Day breakfast for my mom at her house

Learned more about reading Tarot through local MeetUp groups

Am OK with who I am and with waiting till the time is right to meet a romantic partner

Got to see Taylor Swift in concert

Have an agent interested in reading my novel’s manuscript, when it’s finished

Started up yoga

Got to see Frozen, Hamilton, & Rent

 

And I’d say that’s a pretty hefty list. Now, I can’t wait for year 28!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *